1. Dumpweed

It's understood, I said it many ways
Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay
I said I'd leave, I could never leave her
If I did, you know I'd never cheat her
But this I ask, it's what I want to know
How would you feel, if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he'd want to fight me

She's a dove, She's a fucken' nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say you got to turn your back and run now
Come on son, you haven't got a chance now

She's a dove, She's a fucken' nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

She's a dove, She's a fucken' nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I need a girl that I can train(2x)

I need a girl that I can train(2x)

Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now

2. Don't Leave Me

Don't leave me, all alone
Just drop me, off at home
I'll be fine, it's not the first
Just like last time, but a little worse and..

She said that I'm not the one, that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
She said, "don't let my door hit your ass."

One more chance, I'll try this time
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there and..

She said that I'm not the one, that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
She said, "don't let my door hit your ass."

Let's try this one more time with feeling

One more time with feeling(3x)

She said that I'm not the one, that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
She said, "don't let my door hit your ass."

Don't leave me, all alone
Just drop me, off at home

And I'll be fine!

3. Aliens Exist

Hey mom there's something in the backroom
Hope it's not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories
As if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real
I'd leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
Wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

I am still the skeptic yes you know me
Been best friends and will be 'till we die
I got an injection
Of fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies
Alright

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation
Information, nice to know ya, parnoia
Where's my mother, biofather

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies

4. Going Away To College

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful...

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful...

5. What's My Age Again?

I took her out it was Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started making out and she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
And your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is call ID?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And you still act like you're in Freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

That's about the time she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

What's my age again?

6. Dysentery Gary
Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fucken' weasel
His issues me my mind ache
Want to make a deal
Cause I love your little motions
You do with your pigtails
What a nice creation
Worth another night in jail

He's a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When friends were listening to slayer
I would like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom and trying on his fathers tights
Life just sucks, I lost the one, I've givin' up she found someone
There's plenty more, girls are such a drag

So all you little ladies
Be sure to choose the right guys
You'll come back to me maybe
I'll shower you with lies
Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fucken' weasel
Decisions make my mind ache
Want to make a deal

Ease away the problems and the pain
The girl chose the one guy who makes you want to kick and scream
All along, you wish that she would stay
Fuck the guy who took and ran away

He's a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When friends were listening to slayer
I would like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights
Life just sucks, I lost the one, I've givin' up she found someone
There's plenty more, girls are such a drag

Fuck this place, I lost the war, I hate you all, Your mom's a whore
Where's my dog?
Cause girls are such a drag

7. Adam's Song

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone...

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over I'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone...

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault...

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I'd survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

8. All The Small Things

All the , small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take, one lift
Your ride, best trip
Always, I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating

Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
LNa, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs, surprises let me know she cares
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill

9. The Party Song

Do you want to come to a party
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30
This things at a frat house but the people are cool there
Reluctant I followed but never dreamed there
Would be someone there who would catch my attention
I wasn't out looking for love or affection
So I paid my 3 and the girls got in free
Shine the beer and tequila and we headed into the party...

And then in the backyard some terrible ska band
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
This place is so lame all these girls look the same
All thse guys have no game I wish I would have stayed
In my bed back at home watching TV alone
Where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone
Far from people I hate down from anywhere state
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party

And then I saw her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She wasn't wearing underwear at least I prayed that
She might be the one maybe we'd have some fun
Maybe we'd watch the sun rise
But that night I learned some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard
And some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress
With those things on their chests
And the things they suggest to me

I couldn't believe what this lady was saying
The names she was dropping the games she was playing
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
How she's down with the Îwise well constructed disguise
Now I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this
Her volume of makeup her fake tits were tasteless
So I said I'd call her but never would bother
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party

So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blonde hair
She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover
This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun
You should just turn and run because you'll find out that
Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress
With those things on their chest
And the things they suggest to me

10. Mutt

He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
She has her curlers set her credit cards are paying the funds
He's not that old, I've been told a strong sexual goal
They go out everyday she goes every way oh yeah
They don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way to unhealthy
Often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell
He took the seat off his own bike because the way it felt
He wants to bone this I know she is ready to blow
They go out every night his pants are super tight oh yeah
They don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthy
Often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

She's open waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthy
Often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

11. Wendy Clear*
Let's take the boat out on the bay
Forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
It might be inappropriate because
Either way our band gets dropped oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

The three-date theory is getting old
Everyone is getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
So I'll see you with another guy
Who pretends not to hear you when you cry
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

I'll be moving on
moving on
moving on and on and on

moving on
moving on and on and on

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad(3x)

12. Anthem
Home show, mom won't know
Run out the back door
He's passed out on the floor
Third time, been caught twice
Forgive our neighbor Bob
I think he humped the dog

But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

White lies, bloodshot eyes
Breath of alcohol, stole it from the mall
How's Chris marked with lipstick
Better call their fathers, sleeping with your daughters

But good thing come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

You don't belong, you left the kids carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom dad slave drive song

I time bomb(5x)

Turn low the radio, I think I hear my dad
Yelling at the band

But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

You don't belong, you left the kids carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom dad slave drive song

I time bomb(9x)